


In the Silence

by Starofwinter



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hugs, Panic Attacks, selective mutism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 09:54:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17180741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starofwinter/pseuds/Starofwinter
Summary: How do you tell someone what's wrong when you can't say the words?





	In the Silence

**Author's Note:**

> I struggle a lot with selective mutism, and I wrote this to explain some of the ways I feel. 
> 
> Killer belongs to me, and Poke belongs to [Kristsune.](https://kristsune.tumblr.com)

“Killer?”  Poke’s voice is gentle as he crouches down in front of him, “What’s going on?”

Killer’s hands shake, and he clenches them in his uniform, wrinkling the fabric.  He  _ wants _ to tell Poke, he does, but his throat tightens on the words, and his chest aches.  

“Can you talk to me?”

He  _ can’t _ .  He wants to so badly, but the words just won’t come out.  He can  _ think _ them, but it feels like a physical force is cutting off his words and breath.  He shakes his head, his arms wrapping around his chest to hide the way his hands still tremble.  

Poke sighs softly.  “Would you be able to type it?”  He offers the small datapad in his hand, and Killer takes it, willing his fingers to stop shaking so badly.  It takes a few tries, and a few mistakes that he struggles to correct, but he finally manages to type out that he’s having a panic attack and he doesn’t know why, and he’ll be okay and ready to work again in a few minutes.

“Oh, Kil’ika, that isn’t what I’m worried about.  I’m worried about  _ you _ .”

Killer bites his lip, staring at Poke for a long moment before he takes the datapad again.   _ Can’t talk I’m sorry _

“That’s okay.  Just breathe with me.  Can I take your hand?” Poke waits for Killer to hesitantly hold it out before he takes it, holding it to his chest.  “With me. In and out.” 

It takes a while for Killer’s breathing to even out and match Poke’s, but it finally does.  He still can’t speak, and he looks guilty as he meets Poke’s eyes.  _ I’m sorry  _ he writes again.

Poke just shakes his head.  “It’s okay, Killer. There’s a term for that,” he says, and smiles as Killer cocks his head, his eyes lighting up with hope, “Selective mutism.  It’s another symptom of anxiety.” The flicker of guilt returns, and he brushes Killer’s hair back. “Hey, it’s nothing to feel bad about. It just happens, it’s not your fault.” 

_ I should be able to fix it _

“There’s nothing about you that needs to be  _ fixed _ , Kil’ika.  You’re perfect just the way you are.” 

Killer sighs and swallows hard, and he sets the datapad aside before leaning forward to wrap his arms around Poke in a shaky hug.  His voice is scratchy and barely audible as he whispers, “Thank you.”


End file.
